An Interview with Maria

Thank you to Aaron Van Geem of Costa Mesa who interviewed Maria for his senior paper:

AARON VAN GEEM SENIOR PROJECT

1. When did you realize you wanted to be a stand-up comedian?

Didn't really know that stand-up was a possibility (for a girl from Minnesota) until I went to college, but I always loved doing speeches in High School and ran for student council office every year for the specific reason of doing a funny speech. By the way, the funny speech always wins. So I started doing stand-up for reals (though not for pay) when I was 21. I didn't get paid until I was 23 and I didn't make a real living from stand-up until I was 29 (and that was still supplemented a bit by secretarial work and at 32, I'm still signed with my temp agencies in case of a slow month which hasn't happened in a while).

2. How did you go about making that dream of yours a reality?

I read The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron (recommended by a friend) and that really helped me and has continued to help me creatively through my career. That and I just kept showing up and doing it (because I enjoyed it).

3. What education was necessary for achieving your goals ( for instance : formal education or personal experience)?

I finished my degree, but I don't think that's everyone's path. I didn't do the greatest in college, but I didn't know what else to do with myself. I was a bit of a mess actually. Went through treatment for depression my senior year and got on medication which helped.

4. What do you do personally that makes you stand out from all the other stand-up comedians?

This may sound Pollyanna, but I think everyone has something unique and special to bring to the stage. I bring myself and so that's unique, but I think there's this myth — as there is in all art forms — that some comedy is "hack" (read: not unique) and some is "special", but I think there is a place for everybody. And if someone has the "same" idea, but is a different person — then it's unique. Unfortunately, our culture does not reward artists in terms of economic support and so only a few artists are recognized, but that in no way means that we aren't flooded with AMAZING comedians (and other artists) who you never hear about mainstream media.

5. What would you say the average pay is for a stand-up comedian.

I can tell you what I make, but it is different for everyone and I don't know — FROM DAY TO DAY, MONTH TO MONTH what I will make. I didn't know about 3 of these gigs until last week in November.There is no shame in having a "day job" or secondary passion to support you while you pursue an artistic career. There is nothing creatively stimulating about living in a cockaroach-infested apartment and busking for change (I've done that), not knowing where you'll get money for food, living on credit cards and not having health insurance. I did the above in the beginning and ended up in a lot of trouble! Now, I do not use credit cards and live below my means- there is no 401 K PLAN for comedians.

That said — example income for starting "headliner" — middles and emcees make considerably less — Comedy Club gig — Thermopolis, Wyoming (5-45minute shows) $1200 gross (minus airfare $200 and then minus %20 of net in commissions $190 and minus federal tax 30% of ? of net after airfare and commissions: TOTAL NET: $680. And for comics, it usually takes a few years (at least for me, 10 years) to headline. They don't pay for hotel or air for emcees and middles — lots of driving and crashing with friends. Clubs pay you in cash or without taking out taxes — some comics get in trouble when they don't pay quarterly taxes to IRS (Read:me).

Sample Television taping- The Late Night 2AM Interview show- audition for 2 years: $1100 gross (minus tax of 350, minus commissions of 330: TOTAL NET: $420)

So, you're on the Tonight Show and do your first headling gig and you have $1100 for the most exciting month of your life. I earn about as much as a well-paid legal-secretary after expenses- about 50K. And I'm very lucky. To live in LA — on your own — it costs about $2000 a month — so I still temped up until up until a year ago. And, from what I hear- there are no guarantees. Just like McDonald's still has advertising, comics can't really coast on a Tonight Show appearance from 5 years ago. As in any business, it is constantly building and creating new contacts and maintaining old ones.

Net income on Comedy Central Special is $5,240.($15,000 gross, minus 40% tax — $6,000 (higher tax bracket) and 25% ($3,750) commssions) after 9 years of stand-up. And the deal is a "buy-out" meaning you don't receive residuals and they can play it as much as they want for as long as they want. Which is great for exposure and is wonderful, and it's definitely continues to pay in terms of getting better rates for comedy club bookings. Currently, there is no union for Comedians — club pay depends from person to person. Emcees in a club make $150 to $300 a week, middle acts: $150-700 a week and headliners $800 to $2500 unless you're a celebrity or they do door deals where you get a percentage of the door if you're a big draw — Carlos Mencia, Brian Regan are a few comics who aren't necessarily househould names, but "draw", are famous among comedy aficionados.

6. Are there any strategies you use in your routine?

I don't think so — just do my job. Perform my bits and the audience's reaction is up to the audience. It's very subjective how well you do from city to city, place to place. I do what I think is funny. And sometimes, obviously, not everyone thinks the same way I do.

7. Where do you come up with your material?

Does it just come to you or do you have to go places and observe people? I write every day when I get up in the morning 3 pages and I'm starting to schedule writing time for at least an hour a day. I didn't used to do that — just would write in the car (that's my favorite place for working out new bits). I think it's very different for everyone — I just write about things I think about. I'm not very disciplined — or as much as I'd like to be.

8. How do you get people to know who you are when you are just starting out?

For me, it has been a very slow process. Just keep doing it. For me, it's taken years and I've enjoyed performing all of those years, but there is no guarantee that it's going to work out- that's for sure. I do have plenty of friends who have performed for years and for whatever reason haven't been able to make a living. In bad times, I've considered going back to grad school to train for something so if I have kids, I could do something that would support me and I wouldn't have to travel so much for work. Have highest hopes to continue in creative work.

9. What historical or contemporary comedy periods or individuals, if any, were influential in forming your style of comedy or your choice of comedy as a profession?

I listened to Steve Martin as a kid with my family all of the time and Eddie Murphy.

Thank you Aaron for your interest!

Maria Bamford
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Maria Bamford is represented by:
Bruce Smith of Omnipop Talent Agency — 818-980-9267
T.J. Markwalter of Pacific Comedy, Inc. — 818-980-9267

© 2004–2008 Maria Bamford

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