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Maria…

…Stephen Colbert called her his “favorite comedian on earth” and Judd Apatow said she is “the funniest woman in the world.” Maria agrees that she is very talented and may, in fact, have a gift. (As do we all. AS DO WE ALL!) Maria is the first female comic to have two half-hour “Comedy Central Presents” specials. And now, two well-received specials on Netflix called “The Special Special Special” and “Old Baby.”

Awarded Best Club Comic at the American Comedy Awards and Breakout Comedy Star at the Montreal Comedy Festival, her critically acclaimed work includes her web series “The Maria Bamford Show” (featured at MOMA NY), “Ask My Mom” (recommended by The New Yorker), and her Netflix series “Lady Dynamite” (2 seasons).

Maria’s writing has been featured in The New York Times, LA Weekly and The Onion. She has 5 hours of stand-up available on iTunes that includes her latest recording “20%.” 20 percent is the amount of effort Maria puts into Everything She Does, if not five.

Maria has contributed comedic voice overs for such animations as Netflix’s “Big Mouth” and “BoJack Horseman,” Cartoon Network’s “Adventure Time,” PBS’s Emmy-winning series “Word Girl,” Nickelodeon’s “Kung Fu Panda” and “Legend of Korra,” and the international hit “Talking Tom and Friends.” She can do about 11 voices, not including her own, but just a little higher and faster.

For her mental health advocacy, she’s been presented with The OCD Foundation’s Illumination Award and featured at the Psychotherapy Networker Symposium, The Chautauqua Institution and the Saks Institute for Mental Health Law, Policy and Ethics Symposium. She's not always right for these rooms, but she's on time and pleasant.

In terms of showbiz, Maria has enough work and has made it and is swimming in a gravy boat, filled with scrumptious gravy. The goal for Bamfooco, Inc. is to give 11% of net profits to charity, and she is working towards that goal with a calculator. She loves trees, comedians, people, the world, personal finance and reality shows and lives in Altadena with her husband, artist Scott Marvel Cassidy and their dog Jackie Onassis.

From MARIA:

This was all in the third person, though I wrote it myself, which is slightly creepy. My apologies.

If you need help, dial 911. I know. Health care can be super shitty. Go get yourself that shitty-ass help! I love you and think you deserve it.